Relationships. In high school they are like a gold mine for gossip because for some reason everyone seems to be looking for love. Me on the other hand, no. Just like a lot of girls, i too have had one or two middle school “loves” which generally lasted for around a week or the amount of time you went on a school trip. I wanted to be loved because, well because… why not. Looking back it seems silly but it’s all a part of growing up and ya know hormones but i’m not going to talk about that.
It was until about a month ago something clicked inside of me and made me realize after wanting a boyfriend for years: I am not emotionally ready for a relationship. I am mature enough, i just don’t feel the need to deal with it. Having someone is meant to be fun and comforting but i feel like i would make it stressful somehow. Talking about stress, School is so hectic – hence the reason i haven’t been active – i don’t think i’d be able to fit school, love and social together. Personally i find it’s entertaining enough just to watch from afar the breakdown of couples without being in that tragic situation yourself.
Another reason i’m fine being single is that i like being able to love myself. Not in that way you creeps 😉 What i mean, is getting to know who i am, what makes me stressed out, how i can feel fulfilled with my own life. As Ru Paul says “If you don’t love yourself, how the HELL you gonna love someone else?” (Gotta love Ru <3) However, it is true and if i was in a relationship now i don’t think i could commit because i haven’t gotten to terms with who i am. It’s not fair not to devote yourself to someone who adores you and oh my, the amount of times I’ve seen this at school. It’s sad to see girls who don’t feel complete without a boyfriend as they haven’t learnt to love themselves like Ru says you should. What happened to strong independent women?
Lastly, let me say i’m behind with the dating game. I don’t know how to flirt for my LIFE. I don’t understand how people do it! Flirting is obviously easier if boys find you “sexy” but in my life i’m the “cute” one. It’s not bad, i just have this innocent act that makes my flirting come of as creepy -_- However miraculously this creep might have had a slim chance of someone liking her back although now she’s freaking tf out. Feel free to help me escape (or give useful advice)!
Although at the end of the day, you do you. I’m not fully against having a boyfriend i just do not feel the need to as high school relationships can be toxic. Peer pressure is also a big factor to why people date in school as i have experienced. Gossip and scandals also are a big part of it and i do not feel the need to get nasty rumors about me spread around the school. High school is about having fun and if you want a boyfriend or girlfriend you can go and get one but i think i’ll wait a while.
Please leave any thoughts and opinions, i’m just a confused girl right now and i’d love to hear what you think about relationships e.t.c
Thanks for reading x